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Today is my Grandma's 82nd birthday. Honestly, I had forgotten until 1:00pm when I looked at my iGoogle Homepage and saw "Grandma's Birthday!!" on my calendar. Oops.
I decided to make a phone call right that second to alleviate some of my guilt wish Grandma a very happy birthday. The following phrases are parts of our conversation....she's something else!
(Grandma, Grandpa, and the grandkids)---------------------
L-Dubb: So Grandma, how's Grandpa doing?
Grandma: (hurriedly) He's fine.
LD: That's good! What's he been...
G: (cutting me off) Did I tell you that I have 3 ducks now?!
LD: Uhm, ducks? You got ducks?
G: They fly in every night at 6 o'clock for dinner! Two drakes and a hen. I think the hen is sitting eggs somewhere. Could you come over and look for the nest? Oh, and since you'd be over looking for the nest maybe you could move some rocks for me.
Later...
LD: So, Grandma...did you get my letter about El Salvador?
G: (biiiig sigh) Yeah. I'm just not excited you're going there. It's seedy!
Later...
G: Does your little group (speaking about Pathways) ever go to South Carolina?
LD: You mean for missions?
G: Yeah.
LD: Uhm, generally we try to go out of the country for our big mission trips. Why?
G: Oh, I send money to South Carolina for Feed the Children. Those pictures of the hungry little African-Americans made me sad.
LD: That's good you send them money, Grandma.
G: Jennie said I can't call them anything but "African-Americans" now. Did you know that? It's not okay to call them anything else.
Later...
G: I saw an ad for a couple Peekapoo/Dachshund/Corgi mix dogs in the paper yesterday. I sure would like to have a dog. That one sounds pretty small, right? Maybe we could just adopt both of them. I could walk both at the same time.
LD: Well...that would be a lot of walking to take care of two dogs. (The extent of the walking my Grandma does in a day is from the kitchen to get more Diet Pepsi to her chair to finish her "stories.") Are you up for all that? What does Grandpa think of a dog?
G: (another biiiiig sigh) Your Grandfather has his own ideas about things.
Later...
G: Your Grandpa has a tortilla hang-up lately.
LD: Tortillas?
G: He wants to wrap everything up in a tortilla.
(I changed the subject with that one.)
Later...
G: Does your little group (again, Pathways) have parties?
LD: We do. We try to plan something fun at least once a month.
G: Do you meet anyone special (extra emphasis on "special") at these parties? Hmmmmmm?
LD: (playing dumb) Special? Like what Grandma?
G: Oh, you know...special men!!
LD: (head in my hand) No, Grandma...no special men. (under my breath + sarcasm) I'm still just as hopeless as ever!
G: That's okay, honey. Some women just don't get married. We'll still love you.
"Special Men" or no "Special Men..." my Grandma's got my back! Happy birthday, Grandma!
Grandma: (hurriedly) He's fine.
LD: That's good! What's he been...
G: (cutting me off) Did I tell you that I have 3 ducks now?!
LD: Uhm, ducks? You got ducks?
G: They fly in every night at 6 o'clock for dinner! Two drakes and a hen. I think the hen is sitting eggs somewhere. Could you come over and look for the nest? Oh, and since you'd be over looking for the nest maybe you could move some rocks for me.
Later...
LD: So, Grandma...did you get my letter about El Salvador?
G: (biiiig sigh) Yeah. I'm just not excited you're going there. It's seedy!
Later...
G: Does your little group (speaking about Pathways) ever go to South Carolina?
LD: You mean for missions?
G: Yeah.
LD: Uhm, generally we try to go out of the country for our big mission trips. Why?
G: Oh, I send money to South Carolina for Feed the Children. Those pictures of the hungry little African-Americans made me sad.
LD: That's good you send them money, Grandma.
G: Jennie said I can't call them anything but "African-Americans" now. Did you know that? It's not okay to call them anything else.
Later...
G: I saw an ad for a couple Peekapoo/Dachshund/Corgi mix dogs in the paper yesterday. I sure would like to have a dog. That one sounds pretty small, right? Maybe we could just adopt both of them. I could walk both at the same time.
LD: Well...that would be a lot of walking to take care of two dogs. (The extent of the walking my Grandma does in a day is from the kitchen to get more Diet Pepsi to her chair to finish her "stories.") Are you up for all that? What does Grandpa think of a dog?
G: (another biiiiig sigh) Your Grandfather has his own ideas about things.
Later...
G: Your Grandpa has a tortilla hang-up lately.
LD: Tortillas?
G: He wants to wrap everything up in a tortilla.
(I changed the subject with that one.)
Later...
G: Does your little group (again, Pathways) have parties?
LD: We do. We try to plan something fun at least once a month.
G: Do you meet anyone special (extra emphasis on "special") at these parties? Hmmmmmm?
LD: (playing dumb) Special? Like what Grandma?
G: Oh, you know...special men!!
LD: (head in my hand) No, Grandma...no special men. (under my breath + sarcasm) I'm still just as hopeless as ever!
G: That's okay, honey. Some women just don't get married. We'll still love you.
---------------------
"Special Men" or no "Special Men..." my Grandma's got my back! Happy birthday, Grandma!
8 comments:
Oh my goodness.......that is the funniest thing I have read in a LONG TIME!!! I guess just picture this conversation. Gpa called me saturday right before I was getting ready to talk to some middle schoolers. When I kept telling him that I needed to go and I would call him back he just kept talking. So finally (yes I am a bad grandchild) I hung up!
Don't worry I called him back later!!!
Gotta love our grandparents!
That's awesome:) Enjoy them while they around. My Grandpa just turned 91. My Grandma died two years. She called Pathways our little group too.
Next time she asks you about special men, ask her if she means like the special ed kind...that might throw her off:) hahaha
You can also tell her that God is still perfecting your man so when he is ready and you're ready it'll happen, so she needs to pray about it!
I am laughing with tears rolling down my face! Thanks for posting your sweet grandmas conversation.
Heather Y
Good stuff! I really enjoy reading about the conversations you have with people, whether they be Special like Grandma or Special like ooger!
@Jodi: I'm glad you can vouch for the validity of this conversation. It's not an uncommon one! :)
@Amy: Good line! Grandma definitely needs more to pray about! (And less to worry about!)
@Heather: You're welcome! I'm sure there'll be more after this Saturday's family dinner. I'll take notes!
@Brandon: Thanks! I'm thinking about making "He Said/She Said" a weekly occurrence! :)
I'm pretty sure your Grandma channels my Granny. This had me rolling. Thanks for posting, and I'm hoping she had a great birthday!
lol...this had me laughing!! :) What a granny you have! :)
You made me laugh out loud! Your grandparents are special and you are so blessed to have them around. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised hear them say the same about you. :)
jas
www.ironacresnow.blogspot.com
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