Showing posts with label God Things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God Things. Show all posts

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Found : Jesus Branded


Recently a friend of mine exposed me to the joys of those trendy t-shirt blogs. Have you seen those? The ones where the shirts are released twice a week and are on sale for an hour before they're gone forever.

How exclusive and trendy! That would be a good descriptor for the sort of t-shirts they sell, too. Exclusive, trendy, and a little too fashion-forward for this Kansas girl.

So, imagine my surprise when one of my favorite trendy t-shirt blogs, Jesus Branded, released their Thursday shirt...and I liked it. Actually, I didn't like it...I LOVED IT!

So, I've officially made my first purchase on one of those underground you-have-to-wear-glasses-with-thick-black-frames-and-have-really-shaggy-bangs-to-shop-here sort of stores.

Want to see it? I thought you might!

JesusBranded
Copyright 2009 JesusBranded

Isn't that perfect? The shirt's designer explained that one of her favorite scriptures is Psalms 119:32, and wanted to make a shirt that reflected the child-like innocence we should have in our view of God and following after Him.

"I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free."
(Psalms 119:32, NIV)
Even better that after this morning's post it has a double meaning to me! It makes me think of my venture into running and the awe that I feel when I realize just what this body He created can do. It really would make a perfect shirt to wear in the race this August....although it's way to cute to sweat in!

To become part of the glasses-and-bangs-wearing-cool-kid crowd check out Jesus Branded and grab their RSS Feed.

Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Empty Pockets, Open Hands


This morning was one of those mornings I could feel that ugly Funk Cloud settling in. You know the one...it just sort of descends on you like a fog, and before you know it you're snippy, grouchy, sarcastic, and just a joy to be around.

I decided to head this one off at the pass with a little music therapy. I flipped the station from my normal country music/news authority stand-by and gave preset #1 a try...K-LOVE.

As soon as I flipped the station I got a healthy dose of perspective for my day. If you're familiar with K-LOVE you're no stranger to their Daily Encouraging Word. Now, I'm a subscriber, but many times those Encouraging Words get filtered into their own little folder and forgotten. This one though, this one God wanted me to hear.


How many times have I strayed down my own path and then came slinking home to my Heavenly Father? How relieved am I that there isn't a limit to the number of times He'll welcome me back to Him? The answer is many, and thankful beyond words.

God reminded me that oftentimes I can get stuck on the idea that I need to make myself a better person. I know what my past was like, and I know what I'm capable of if I'm left to my own devices. I also know how thankful I am for God's grace and forgiveness, and oftentimes I forget that He doesn't need me to prove my gratitude. His grace and forgiveness come even though I continue to stray. I can't earn His favor because I've already got it!

This next part, this is the God stuff that I just love. The very next song on K-LOVE? "Forgiven and Loved" by Jimmy Needham. I hadn't heard this one before and within the first 3 notes, I was hooked. After the first verse I knew it was no coincidence I was listening to those words. The more I listened, the more I smiled. I'm pretty sure the more you listen, the more you'll smile too.

Don't believe me? Click play...





"When He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation, and His blood commands my guilt to leave. Now on Calvary I stand, empty pockets, open hands. Oh, there is no condemnation for me!"

Sort of puts it all back into perspective, doesn't it? How on earth could that funk stick around when you've got something like that coming from your speakers? God brought me right back to where He wants me this morning, and I couldn't keep something like that to myself. I hope you know just how much He loves you, and that His grace isn't cheap, but it is FREE!

Oh, and that Funk Cloud? Yeah, it's long gone...

In Him,

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Pastor L


Some of the men from my childhood were larger than life. They were my Grandpa's friends. They talked loudly. They seemed to stand taller than other men. Their hands were huge, rough, and strong when they shook my hand in church. They always had a pocket full of candy to share with me after lunch on Sundays. I was sure that these men were the closest thing to superheros I had ever met.

One of the men that I remember most was the same man that performed my parents' wedding, He was the man my brother is named after. The same man that baptized most of my family. He pastored the church I grew up in. He was the man that led both of my parents to the Lord.

Pastor L had a giant, booming voice that scared me just a little bit when he would speak from the pulpit. He would visit my grandparents every Tuesday, without fail, to catch them up on his grandkids, and to hear about what theirs were up to. Pastor L would deliver communion to their house just before Easter...not because they asked him to, but because he knew they couldn't get out of the house to be in church that Sunday.

He was at every high school football game, without fail, whether he knew a player or not. He was never without a pair of suspenders, or a smile. He loved the Lord more than almost anyone I know.

Fifteen minutes ago I got the phone call from Mom telling me that Pastor L passed away last night in his sleep.

Learning of Pastor L's passing really impacted me. Since Mom's phone call I can't do much more than cry, smile at the memories he left us, and cry some more. Perhaps it's the sting of losing such a big part of my childhood. Perhaps it's sympathy tears for the holes I know Pastor L left in my parents' hearts, my grandparents' lives, and the lives of his family. Maybe it's just the reality that we all get older and the men that once seemed like superheros are now older, grayer, and not quite as strong as they used to be. Regardless, I know that our time without Pastor L and the other amazing people that have gone before him is short...we'll all be together again in Eternity.

The earth lost a mountain of a man yesterday night, but Heaven gained one of the best angels they've seen so far. Pastor L will be dearly missed each day until we can be with him again forever.

Every Sunday Pastor L ended our church service the same way. He would stand on the center of the steps leading up to the altar. He would stretch his arms as wide as they would go, and in the giant voice that only Pastor L could create he would speak the same blessing, taken from Numbers 6:24-26, over the congregation. It's the same blessing that my brother uses to end his sermons each time he preaches. I thought it was only fitting I end with it too...

"May the LORD bless you and keep you; may the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you now and forever more."

Congratulations, Pastor L, on being reunited with your beautiful wife. Congratulations on your renewed body and the beginning of an eternity praising the God that you loved and served during your time on Earth. Until we see you again, we'll miss you!




Friday, May 1, 2009

Truth Hurts

As I was blog stalking catching up on my Google Reader this morning I came across a post that really made me stop. One comment in particular kept coming to mind as I read. It reminded me of the mistakes we make as Christians and trying to walk out or faith in our daily lives.

The quote came from a blog that I hadn't seen before, but found as a result of my incessant Blog Roll stalking. (See, stalking pays off!) It said,

"If Christianity has taught me one thing, it’s to be a good liar."
The author talked about things that hit close to home for me. I know people that have attended the school she talks about in her post. I know people that live lives that closely resemble what she describes. I know people that have walked away from Christianity because they viewed it as something prohibitive, judgmental, and hypocritical. I can relate to some of those feelings because I've gone through most of them in the course of graduating high school and "finding myself."

Before I go any farther with my thoughts I would really encourage you all to go read the original post...not with judgment or condescension, but with an open mind and an open heart. Click here for a link to the post.

How did that post affect you? Did it make you think? Did it offend you? Did it hit home because it's how you feel as well?

As Christians we're called to be as close to "Christ-like" as possible. That's no easy task. I think that people take that desire to be like Christ in a direction that hurts others. So often we get caught up in the rules and regulations that we miss the real reason we are Christians. I am a Christian because I love God and I want to live my life in a way that brings Him glory.

There are things I won't wear, say, do, drink, watch, or listen to because of my own personal convictions. I wear pants. I wear skirts above my knee. I listen to all sorts of music. I work outside my home. I'm 27 and single. I shave my legs and tweeze my eyebrows. I dye my hair. (shhh!) I love make-up! I talk to "boys" (after dark even!) I do all of those things yet I don't think God loves me any less than He loves those that live life the way Pithy described it.

If we are driving others away from God by the life we lead, we need to take a step back and reevaluate what we're doing. God never promised being a Christian would be easy or popular, but He did call us to be Christ to the world. Have we forgotten that during His time on Earth Jesus spent his time with tax collectors and prostitutes? Not out of pity or charity, but because He loved them and valued them as children of God. Our faith doesn't make us "better" than others. My walk with God doesn't put me on a higher level than someone that doesn't believe in God. My walk with God and my faith simply gives me hope and strength to face what life brings me. It's something that means the world to me and I want to share that hope with others...it's so different than what you might think!

So Pithy (or fan's of her blog) or anyone else that isn't sure about this whole "Christianity" thing, if you're reading this post, I would like to apologize on behalf of all of the Christians that have judged you, talked down to you, said one thing and did another, or drove you away from God and the church. God loves each of you. Christianity isn't about hate and judgment...it's about a real, dynamic, personal relationship with a God that loves you more than you may ever understand.

I would love your comments...good, bad, or in between! I'm not afraid of different opinions! If you don't know God in a way that's real and personal email me...I would love to tell you more about what Christianity really means!

GoodbyeMartha (@) Gmail (.) com

Oh, and Pithy? Thanks for an amazing post today. It was just the wake-up call I needed.

Snorgs,
L-Dubb

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Shirley, Booger, and Pinwheel Cookies



"Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." (Jeremiah 29:7, NIV)

Yesterday we spent the day working with Love Wichita. My church has been advertising this event for months. I was looking forward to the opportunity to get out there and bless someone. What I didn't expect was that I would be the one blessed far beyond what I expected.


The first time I saw Shirley she was standing on the front porch of her tiny green house. She was a small woman about my grandma's age. She wore house slippers with her polyester pants, and she was holding a can of cat treats, shaking them as hard as she could and yelling "Booger" out the front door.


Booger, Shirley's cat, slowly made his way home from tormenting the neighbor's dog and retreated into the house with Shirley. I chalked Shirley up to "just another crazy old lady" and went on painting the side of her house a typical minty green.


Fifteen minutes later, Shirley was back. This time she was holding a package of Pinwheel cookies and giving Rachel strict instructions that she only had twelve, so we couldn't eat more than one a piece. The idea of chocolate-covered marshmallow cookies didn't sit well with most of us, but the grin on Shirley's face as she watched Rachel opening the package of cookies told us that it was important we enjoyed those treats. Shirley waved as she disappeared back into her living room and we all just laughed.


As the afternoon went on Shirley would poke her head out the door to supervise our work. She would sit in her chair by the front window watching, occasionally tapping the class to get our attention so that she was able to give us a big wave. It was obvious that a yard full of people wasn't a normal occurrence, and that Shirley was thoroughly enjoying the commotion.


As the afternoon wore on and the sun came out, so did Shirley. She sat on her front porch swing; small, frail hands resting on top of her cane as she watched us clean up from the day. As I hung her thermometer I made small talk.I asked her if she had family in the area. She told me her sons both lived in Texas. Her grandchildren were scattered as far as California, and her only great-grandkids, triplets, lived in Virginia. She considered her Home Care nurses, "Her Girls" as she called them, to be her family.


I spent the next half-hour on the most important thing I had done all day; giving Shirley my undivided attention. I knew I should be helping my team clean up. I knew there were other things I could be doing. I also knew that what God was asking me to do was be more like Mary and less like Martha. He was asking me to sacrifice all of my busy work to just extend God's love to someone that simply wanted to visit.


As Shirley talked I couldn't help but smile. This woman had seen things in her 80+ years of life that I couldn't even imagine.She told me about a barn raising she cooked for when her son, Tim - who is now 65 - was 2. She talked about living in Needles, California working for the USO the day the troops came home from World War II. She remembered box cars owned by the Red Cross hauling hundreds of wounded troops back to their families. She told me about the day the troops started arriving. She worked in the kitchen of a hotel with a huge ballroom. As the trains pulled in the soldiers started piling in to the hotel. Shirley told me that as she watched them come through the doors she saw one soldier sit down at the piano in the ballroom and start to play "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy."


It wasn't long before a Sargent approached her and asked her to dance. She had Tim with her and passed him off to a friend so that she could jitterbug around the ballroom with this man that had just returned home. She watched the soldiers pass Tim around the room, waltzing to the music on the jukebox and talking of how they couldn't wait to make it home to their wives and babies...some they hadn't even met yet.


She laughed as she remembered her boss leaving the kitchen to scold the girls that had abandoned their jobs to dance with the boys arriving home. Shirley told her boss that these men had spent 4 years serving their country and she planned to dance with every one of them if that's what they wanted. She told her boss to tell the other girls in the kitchen to do the same...to give these heroes the welcome they deserved. She then told me it would only be 6 months before her husband returned home. Tim was 2 when Shirley's husband came home...it would be the first time Tim met his father.


As Shirley talked it was as if she was taken back to those days. I could almost see this sweet, frail old woman getting younger as she remembered dancing the night away as the soldiers piled off the train. She teared up as she told me she used to love to dance, and how it "hurt her heart that her old body just wouldn't cooperate anymore."


The longer we talked the bigger Shirley's smile became. One by one my friends made their way over. I would try to catch them up as best I could, and it was plan that they loved Shirley's stories just as much as I did. She enjoyed telling stories, and she loved even more the reactions she got from us. She grinned as we all gasped in disbelief after she told us the same boss that yelled at her for dancing with the soldiers instead of working would later go on to be eaten by cannibals in South America. Clearly the company and friendship we gave her meant more to Shirley than the new coat of paint on her house or the freshly raked yard.


As the yard was cleaned up our group made it's way to the front porch. We asked Shirley if we could pray for her before we left. We all gathered on the tiny porch. Shirley slowly stood up from the porch swing; her left arm around DeMo's waist, and her right arm around mine.


As we all bowed our heads a voice started to speak. As this voice continued, loudly and confidently, my tears began to fall. This voice prayed blessings for the workers, thanks for the fellowship, and that in our golden years we would find others that would come together to bring us the support we needed. We had come together to pray blessings on Shirley's life, but as we bowed our heads the voice praying blessings wasn't anyone from our group...it was Shirley. The woman that we came to bless was the one giving the blessings.


As I listened to the simple prayer the entire day was put into perspective. Helping our community and giving of ourselves is important, God expects it of us. Something just as important, if not more so, is being Christ to those around us. Jesus showed those around Him love, respect, and fellowship. He was truly interested in those around Him because they too were God's children...they were important. Christ was love to those around Him. He served others, but more importantly he truly loved others.


I believe God used yesterday afternoon to chip away at a little more of my inner-Martha. He reminded me that sometimes He calls us to set aside our to-do lists and simply be a friend to someone. He reminded me that sometimes stories about cannibals and The Jitterbug need to take precedence over paint brushes and yard work.


As I drove away from Shirley's tiny green house I thanked God for Pinwheel cookies and unexpected lessons. I asked Him to bless Shirley's life and bring her friends, and I thanked Him for taking me one step closer to becoming more like Mary and less like Martha.


Goodbye, Martha.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Isaiah 53:5 - Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. So many people find it hard to call a day like today "good," yet that's the only word that fits. Out of a day that brought pain and loss 2000 years ago came our promise of eternal life and forgiveness. Something so beautiful can only come from God.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed."
--Isaiah 53:5, NIV--
As you go through today I pray you're drawn closer to God and that you're reminded of all that Jesus did for you on that cross.

If you've never heard what Jesus did for you over 2000 years ago today, ask someone that loves you. Find a church having a Good Friday service and listen to what true love sounds like. If all of that sounds too intimidating, email me!
GoodbyeMartha [at] Gmail [dot] com
I would love to tell you about the love of Jesus and the sacrifice He made for you so that you may spend eternity in Heaven with Him. He loves you so much!

I have had this song in my head all week...I finally found a beautiful video on Youtube to go along with it. Take 3 minutes to sit back and listen. I pray you're blessed by the true, unconditional, love and sacrifice the song describes.

By His wounds, we are healed! Thank you, Jesus!!








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Listening to: Pocket Full Of Rocks - Falling

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Callused

I remember the first time I watched "The Passion Of The Christ." I was still in my rebellion phase. I was raised in the church and found salvation at an early age...but made the decision after high school to walk away from my faith and the church to make my own way in the world. When Passion came out in 2004 my parents' church bought tickets for the entire congregation to see it together, for free. My parents invited me to come along.

I remember sitting in that theater watching, horrified, as they beat Jesus nearly to death. I remember trying to fight the tears as He made His way down the Via Dolorosa towards Golgotha, where He would be crucified. By the time Jesus fell under the weight of the cross and Mary came to his side I couldn't pretend to be unaffected any longer. I thought of my own brother. I thought of my Mom. I thought of what a huge sacrifice God was making, allowing His Son to suffer such unfathomable pain and torture.


Through the rest of the movie - the painfully long journey to Golgotha, the p
ain and brutality of the crucifixion, and the amazing hope portrayed in the resurrection - I cried quietly. It was like my eyes were reopened to what Christianity was truly about. It reminded me that we are able to look forward to an eternity in Heaven because of the pain Jesus endured and the prophecies he fulfilled by making that sacrifice.

I walked away from that movie deeply impacted. In my humanness I fell back into old behaviors and continued running from God until He finally caught me late in 2005, but the impact of that movie never left me.


Fast forward from Easter 2004 to Easter 2009, five years later.

We sat down as a Life Group to watch The Passion together last night. I came e
xpecting to be impacted. I came expecting to cry. I did not come expecting to walk away with my eyes opened and my heart softened all over again.

The only way I can think to describe the impact it made on me is to describe a callus. I have heard the story of Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday many, many times. I knew it from beginning to end. It had become so familiar it lost some of it's wonder. It had created a callus on my heart, and that callus wasn't allowing me to feel as much as God had intended me to feel. God used last night and a simple movie to remove that callus from my heart. He took the callus that was once there and left the new, fresh, sensitivity that was hiding underneath.

Today, I am very close to my tears. Songs that were once "overplayed" now hold amazing meaning and messages. For the first time in a long time Christ and His sacrifice are nearly all I can think about. I am looking forward to Good Friday and Easter Sunday like I never have before.

So today, as I sit at my desk and feel tears welling up as a certain song plays I won't try to fight them, and I won't change to a different song. I'll simply say "thank you" and praise Him for restoring my heart and reopening my eyes to the unfathomable love He has for us.




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Listening to: Jeremy Camp - I Am Nothing

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Single. And Satisfied!

*In the interest of letting the entire blog-o-sphere this much closer into my personal life, I'm going to wade in a little deeper with today's post. I can't decide why. Maybe it's because I feel like it's a good witness to what God can do once you totally surrender your will to Him. Maybe it's because my server is down at work and I can't do any more invoicing. Regardless, you've been warned.*

--------------------

I have been single for 1,044 days. That's 25,056 hours. 1,503,360 minutes. 90,201,600 seconds. I'm talking haven't-held-hands-haven't-been-on-a-date-haven't-been-kissed single...for a little more than 90.2 million seconds.

In layman's terms, I will be single for 3 years come May 30, 2009.

Let me give you some background on what, exactly, brought me to such a drastic decision.

I am, quite possibly, the worst judge of [male] character in the Western Hemisphere. I'm talking bad. I've dated Commitment-phobes, Mama's Boys, Jail Birds (to my credit, I didn't know this until after we broke up,) Two-Timers, and men that just can't make a decision about anything. After the last debacle, I decided enough was enough. I did what I should've done the day I turned 16 and was "allowed" to date. I gave my dating life over to God and I never looked back.

That might sound like a bizarre concept to some readers. It sounded awfully jean-skirts-and-tennis-shoes (aka: creepy, legalistic, cult-ish Christianity) to me, too. All I knew for sure was that I had failed, miserably, at finding men to date and I knew God couldn't do any worse than I was.

I started out where I usually do. Reading. I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." I read "Boy Meets Girl." I read "Lady In Waiting." I read "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships." I read "When God Writes Your Love Story."
I spent much of that first year reading, taking notes, praying, and rereading. The time I spent listening to what others had to say about dating as a Christian was invaluable, but I knew that I had to learn to apply that to my life and pray about where God wanted me to fall in the spectrum of Christian dating approaches.

After much prayer I had come to a decision. I would pray that God kept every man out of my path but the right man. I began praying for God to keep other offers for dates away from me since I had never been good at turning someone down. Mercy, was He ever faithful to that request. For the first year and a half I wasn't approached once, by even one man, period. Now, I'm not saying I'm a knock-out by any means, but I will say that in my "heyday" I didn't have any trouble getting men to ask me out. To go from that, to not so much as even a second glance in such a short time was truly a God Thing.

Looking back, I know that God used that time in my life for a very specific purpose. He was the only man in my life. He was the one that held my attention. He had no competition. Because I was focused fully on Him, He was able to teach me so much about how He saw me, how much I was worth to Him, and how He expected me to behave in a dating relationship/marriage. It was such a departure from the way I approached dating in the past.

After the first year and a half men would approach me. Some would blatantly hit on me. Those were easy to turn down. Some were sweeter about it. Some were even friends of mine. Those were harder to know what to do with. I knew that I would no longer go out on a date just to be dating someone. I knew that the next man I accepted a date from would need to be special. He would need to be someone I could see a future with...someone that had the qualities of a man I could see myself married to.

I was no longer settling for a date just to get a free dinner or so I wouldn't be alone on a Friday night. This time, it was serious.

Since I made that commitment to God almost 3 years ago my life has totally changed. My focus has changed. My perspective on dating has changed. For me, it's not something to be taken lightly...it should be approached with prayer, respect, and honor. I have been asked out by some really great men in the past 3 years. Men that made it hard for me to turn the date down. However, that still, small voice is never wrong. If He is telling me no, then the other hes in my life will just have to listen and understand.

I know God will honor my sacrifice and my decision to follow Him above the other hims running around my life. Plus, I'm excited to be able to tell the man I do accept a date from that I've been waiting 90.2 million seconds...just for him.





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Listening to: Matt Wertz - Counting To 100

Monday, April 6, 2009

Less Me, More Him.

*Disclaimer: Please excuse me if this post seems fragmented. I'm currently eating my Lean Cuisine...which I'm pretending is actually from Johnny Carino's. Thank you in advance!*

God and I, we have a good thing going. When I get to the point with my faith that I'm starting to get comfortable or complacent, He sends me something that throws me for a loop and causes me to really evaluate where I am with Him. If I say I believe something or I'm convicted on a certain issue, He'll put a situation in my path that causes me to really dig down deep to make sure those words I speak so freely are truly the overflow of my heart.

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45, NIV)
Lately God has been allowing me to find my way into situations that are challenging, stressful, uncomfortable, and a little drama-filled. I've found that those knee-jerk reactions to get defensive, snippy, or rude aren't as far away from me as I would like to believe. I still feel those spiteful thoughts creeping up. I still want to approach the person that wronged me and tell them exactly what I think of their behavior. That disappoints me.

God has brought me so far in the past 3 years...sometimes I give myself too much credit. I like to think that those situations won't effect me the same way they used to, but old habits die hard.

Driving home from town this weekend God and I were talking things through. I told Him that I didn't want to be like I used to be when I was angry...I wanted to react in a way that was Christ-like, not emotion-driven. I know it will be a process, one that doesn't end. I also know that this process will be well worth it if it makes me more like Him.

Friday, March 27, 2009

More

"More" by Matthew West came across my Pandora Station this morning and I had to stop and listen. I mean really listen. What a way to start a morning! I really wanted to give all the rest of you a little encouragement/food for thought this morning, so I went out and found a video for the song (with lyrics.)

Click play, sit back, listen, and let it all soak in.



Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me
Two years ago I saw The Rocky Mountains for the first time. I remember driving west from Denver and being completely in awe of what I was looking at. They were absolutely huge! I spent a lot of our drive with tears in my eyes. I remember telling God that I finally understood just how big He was.
Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am
And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one
How often have I prayed for something that seemed so important to me, but then thought of everything that God hears in a day? I'm not praying for world peace. I'm not praying that hundreds of thousands of souls would come to Christ during my next concert tour. I'm praying God would protect my future husband. I'm praying God would heal my friend's cold. I'm praying Twin would be safe on her flight back from Houston. Yet the prayers I lift to Him are just as important as the prayers Billy Graham prays.
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more
There were times I have been very unlovable. There were times God was the last thing on my mind. There were years that I spent living solely for my own satisfaction. He saw me then and loved me still...loved me just as much as He loves me today.
Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to me
And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone
He sees through my striving to be "put together" and collected. He knows my insecurities and my fears. He has seen the depths of my heart and He loves me the same. He is still holding on to me, even when I'm not holding on to Him.

Love like that is once in a lifetime. Love like that can't come from a fairytale romance here on earth. Love like that can only come from Him.

Sort of puts it all back in perspective!






Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Heart of Worship


I go to a great church! I was a little skeptical at first - the thing is huuuuge (think 3000 members) - but once you're plugged in and involved with a smaller group the opportunities are endless!

My friends and I go to Central's Five:33 Service on Saturday nights. Steve and the worship band rock! More often than not we end up 1-2 chair farther down the row because we were dancing and jamming to all the great music!

Last Saturday Pastor David started his Easter sermon series called "This Changes Everything." His first sermon was on The Last Supper. (Click here for a link to CCC's podcasts, then click "The Last Supper" for Saturday's sermon.) The entire sermon was about preparation for our worship experience each Saturday night/Sunday morning...which really got me thinking.

In September my brother and I threw my parents a 30th Anniversary party. It was a big shindig. 100 people invited, we sprung for their favorite band, we put a lot of thought into the decorations, we went all out. I started planning a party in January that wouldn't be happening until the end of September. It completely consumed my life for nearly all of 2008. It was a very important milestone in my parents' lives together...it deserved the celebration. Yet no matter how important that day was, or how many memories we made that day, it's temporary. It's fleeting. It's been forgotten by some of the guests. The decorations are in a box somewhere in my garage. Which makes me wonder...

If something that is temporary and fleeting garners that much of my time, effort, money, and attention then shouldn't God and my worship of Him be that much more of a focus?

How much time do I spend preparing my heart and my mind and my emotions for worship on Saturday nights? If I pray about the service at all it's a quick "bless those that are coming, Lord" and I'm off again. The things that are part of my relationship with God are eternal. They are lasting. They are forever! I should spend all week preparing for the time I spend with Him on Saturday nights. I should be praying for those that will be there. I should be praying for the praise band and the pastor. I should be praying for my own heart to be open, receptive, and ready for what God has to tell me.

The time I spend in worship at church shouldn't be when I wonder if I'm on tune harmonizing with the singers, or on where we should go eat after we're done. God deserves my undivided attention and honor. He deserves my worship to be a sacrifice to Him, not just a half-baked effort.
He deserves far more than I'm able to give Him.

My prayer this week is that God would bring me back to what worship really means. That He would be the focus of my week. That I would spend every weekday preparing my heart, my mind, and my emotions for the time I spend with Him in His house on Saturday nights. I pray the same for all of you!


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Foxy Foursome

Warning! The post you are about to read may contain themes not suitable for all audiences. Themes may include, but are not limited to: mush, sap, sentimentality, and/or gushing. Should you decide to continue reading you are doing so at your own risk.

• • • • •

Time and time again people claim to have "the best friends in the world." Those people are wrong. I have met "the best friends in the world" and they belong to me...or maybe I belong to them.

Please allow me to introduce you to some of the hottest women on the planet...The Foxy Foursome!

I have learned in my years as a woman that we have many different types of friends, and those friends fill the many different types of needs we may have. Some of my friends are my opposite, and that works for us. But these girls, The Foursome, we could've been sisters! When we met, it just clicked. We had come from similar backgrounds, we had been through some of the same struggles, we just "got" each other.

Each one of us, no matter how similar we are, brings something completely different to the group.

Sarah Jane (Monkey) has a heart of gold. She is one of the most selfless, compassionate women I know. She is fiercely protective of her friends and family. She can just as easily sit down and have a heart-to-heart with my Mom as she can get down on the dance floor at Margarita's. (Don't let that sweet smile fool you...girl has some serious moves.) Monkey has overcome more in her 26 years than some women overcome in lifetime.

Rachel is as funny as she is beautiful. Her dry sense of humor catches people by surprise, but it's also one thing that draws people to her. She and I have walked very similar roads, and because of that we have a very close bond. She is dependable, trustworthy, thoughtful, and generous. She is always one of the first people to welcome a visitor to Pathways and to invite them to sit with her at dinner. I look forward to our Wednesday night solve-the-world's-problems coffee dates more than I let on. I can see God growing Rachel by leaps and bounds...He's got huge things planned for her. I can't wait to share an obscene amount of Pupusas, inside jokes, and memories with her in El Salvador!

Becky is my twin. We share a birthday. We share the same (slightly bossy) personality. We share an affection for taking out our frustrations on an elliptical trainer. She keeps me accountable, she keeps me motivated, and she keeps me laughing. We became fast friends planning our birthday party last year, and I believe we'll be friends for a lifetime (if we live through planning her wedding!) Becky is a woman who will always tell you what she's thinking, but she'll do it in a way that doesn't offend you...it inspires you. She's intelligent, she's beautiful, she's ornery, and she chair-dances to the annoying music they play before a movie. I'm not sure how I'll manage when she moves to Houston in September. My only consolation is that I'm pretty sure Nathan realizes just how amazing she is and how lucky he is that we're letting her go!

Putting faces with the names! (L to R) Rachel, Becky, me, and Sarah Jane

For a girl, who once had a seriously lacking social circle, to have not one but 3 best friends is nothing short of a miracle. God has blessed me with these women that support me, love me, challenge me, yell at me, motivate me, pray for me, and get into trouble with me. I pray for each of them daily...sometimes more often than that. I believe we will see each other through engagements, marriages, children, moves, job changes, and grandchildren.
"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
~ La Rochefoucauld
To my Foursome: Thank you for coming into my life at exactly the right moment. Thank you for being obedient to what God wants you to do, and for inspiring me to grow closer to Him. I count you all as some of the most precious blessings God has given me. I can't wait for all of the seasons of life we'll share together. I love each of you a ton!

*mwah*

ps: You didn't really think I could write a post about the Foursome and leave the Estrogenfest picture out, did you? You're welcome!! ;)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Telling Martha Goodbye - Part 2

(Continued from Telling Martha Goodbye - Part 1)

"The more I prayed about what God would have me do, the more I realized He was calling me to make some tough decisions. I needed to pray and allow God to show me what He wanted me involved in, and focus on those things. Easier said than done. I loved everything I was a part of. I was on leadership for two different groups, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my friends every night of the weekend, what on earth would I do away with?!

I kept handing it over to God and He kept telling me to wait on Him. Until recently..."
Last Wednesday, March 18, 2009, I was at Life Group. The lesson talked about obedience and sacrifice, which got me praying...again. I told God I wanted to honor Him with my time and asked Him again to show me what to keep and what to do away with. We finished the lesson, we spent some time chit-chatting, we all went our separate ways. I hadn't made it to the gym that morning, so I was driving to Anytime Fitness in town before I headed home. I thought I would be cute and razz Jason a little about my dedication working out at 9:30pm, so I shot him a quick text message. He replied and I was on my way.

I finished my workout and checked my phone. Jason had sent me another message asking if I would be at Thursday night Life Group the next evening. I told him I wouldn't and he replied:
"Are you ever coming back?"
I was honest and told him I wasn't sure, I was still praying about it. I asked if he had any insight into the situation (he gives great advice!) and he told me he might. Jason asked if I had a second to talk and we spent the next hour on the phone.

I spent 80% of that hour talking through my decision. I told him what I liked about each thing I was a part of. I told him which things I wasn't willing to give up. I told him which things I was on the fence about. He just let me talk. At one point, while pausing to get a breath, I prayed again..."show me what You want me to do with my schedule." And then, that voice that I could pick out anywhere came through loud and clear.
"You already know. I've told you. Trust it."
At that moment everything came into focus. I enjoyed everything that I was involved in, but two areas really spoke to me and fell high on my list of priorities. I loved Pathways and it's ministry, and I was honored to be part of it's leadership. I was excited to get to know the people in my Wednesday Life Group more, and the lessons it's leaders picked out challenged me and made me think. I loved Thursday night Life Group, and being part of it's leadership, but it felt like I had outgrown it. It was a huge blessing to me when I first came to Pathways and allowed me to make some life-long friendships...but I was ready to move on. It had become a time for me to socialize more than a time to focus on God and what He had planned for me.

I told Jason I knew what I needed to do and explained what I thought I was hearing. Him agreeing with what I was feeling was all the confirmation I needed. It would be hard to step down from Thursday nights, I would miss many of the people I met in the group, but I had to be obedient to God's instruction.

I know now that God's answer to my prayers came in the form of a good friend letting me talk things out. Jason listening to my ramblings allowed me to put things in perspective.
"For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."
(Luke 6:45b, NIV)
The things that meant the most to me were the things I spoke of. The things God was really laying on my heart made themselves clear to me because they were the things I couldn't stop telling Jason about. I was to shift my focus fully to Pathways leadership and allow my time at Wednesday night Life Group to recharge me and challenge my faith. It was time to move away from Thursday night Life Group and allow someone else the opportunity to serve that group.

Stepping away from something I looked forward to and enjoyed wasn't easy. It wasn't without a few moments of second-guessing my decision to leave. Some things God puts into my life just for a season...just so they can serve their purpose...and then it's time to let them go.

I am excited to see what God has in store for me going forward. I'm eager to go where He sends me. I plan to use the time I've freed up on Thursday to spend time in His presence...there is no season for my relationship with Him.

I still have quite a ways to go in my quest to leave my inner-Martha in the kitchen, but I know this was a great start.
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
(Luke 10:41-42, NIV)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Telling Martha Goodbye - Part 1


It's time for a little Goodbye, Martha history lesson...in two parts!

Almost a year ago I didn't do much of anything. I went to work. I came home. Repeat. I had a serious void in the area of good, Godly friendships. I started praying God would put people in my path that would help me grow in my faith.

Mercy sakes alive, did He ever listen!

Fast forward to May of 2008. God sent me into an amazing bunch of folks in a Thursday night Bible study. From there, it was to an even bigger group on Sunday nights called Pathways...geared towards singles in their 20s & 30s. Since May 2008 I have been blessed and honored to become really involved with Pathways and my Life Group (Bible Study) and their ministries. Come to find out, maybe a little too involved.

My Mom and brother both told me they were worried about me. I was constantly going. I'm talking Wednesday through Sunday nights I was driving 30 miles, one way, to be at some function, event, or party through my church. I had allowed my one-on-one time with God to fall almost completely by the wayside. I was burnt out. I was frazzled. My heart was in the right place, serving God and His kingdom, but I had waaaay too much Martha, and not nearly enough Mary.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42, NIV)

Since I am always an obedient daughter, I immediately trimmed down my schedule. I promised Mom that I had plenty of time for God & me, and kept right on going. It wasn't until I started dreading the events I once looked forward to that I realized...Mom was right.

Yuck.

The more I prayed about what God would have me do, the more I realized He was calling me to make some tough decisions. I needed to pray and allow God to show me what He wanted me involved in, and focus on those things. Easier said than done. I loved everything I was a part of. I was on leadership for two different groups, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my friends every night of the weekend, what on earth would I do away with?!

I kept handing it over to God and He kept telling me to wait on Him. Until recently...

(To be continued...)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

On Sandbags & Dog Smiles


Yesterday's weather was UH-MAZE-ING!!
Weather like we've been having gives me huge amounts of cabin fever. When I get hit with the fever I look for ANY excuse to get outside and get moving...even work!

Each winter I buy sandbags to weigh down Honey's back end.

This year we ended up with 4 sandbags over each wheel. That's a lot of weight. 480 pounds, to be exact.

It's great to have that extra weight in the back end when you're battling a Kansas winter (read: snow/ice/generally nasty slushy stuff,) but once you get past the winter months that extra weight (and crappy gas mileage!) gets old. Then, come springtime, you get the delightful task of unloading nearly 500 pounds of sandbags. Inevitably, the week you ditch the junk in the trunk, Kansas decides it's time for one last ice storm and you're sliding all over the place.

I digress...

Yesterday evening I had decided I would tempt fate and ditch the junk in the trunk. Hank decided he would give his Aunt Lannie a hand (or paw) and sat in the truck to supervise while I backed up to each pot hole in the driveway and flopped a sandbag into them.

We finally got all 8 bags dumped into the holes. Then it was time to walk (or frolic, if you're Hank) around from bag to bag, stabbing them with a steak knife (you're welcome, Mom) and dumping the sand out. Hank discovered his new purpose in life is to "help" (and I use that term loosely) me spread the sand out by digging like a maniac in each pile of sand...essentially flinging all sand away from where we put it and entirely defeating the purpose.

Once we managed to fling sand all over creation and dispose of the evidence, it was time for the best part. Driving around the section multiple times until all the rocks, sticks, dirt, and treasures fly out of the bed of my truck. Seriously folks, it's WAY easier than taking the time to sweep it out by hand.

Hank asked Lucy if she wanted to go. (Dumb question. Of course she did!) We loaded up, and after a small skirmish over who got shotgun, we were off.


Congratulations to Hanky on winning the Toofer War to claim the front seat.


The dogs and I spent the next half-hour cruising the beautiful Harvey County countryside. I am here to tell you that you haven't truly seen joy until you've looked at your dog's face while riding around with the windows down. The tongue is flopping. The drool is flying (generally towards me. Gross.) The ear hair is fluttering. That unmistakable doggy smile is firmly in place.

Naturally, because I am my Father's daughter, I got a little verklempt over the whole thing and took several moments to thank God for dirt roads, green grass, perfect weather, pickup trucks, an adoreably hairy "nephew," and a slightly hateful "daughter."

It really is the simple things that make life great...sometimes God just has to remind me of it!


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A New Perspective on March 17th


Things I didn't know about Saint Patrick, the person behind St. Patrick's Day, until today...

  • He was a pagan until he was 16 years old
  • He became a Christian during his enslavement to the Irish marauders who kidnapped him from his family's wealthy estate on the British mainland
  • He escaped after 6 years and was so convicted of the need to spread the Gospel that he went to study at the monastery for 12 years
  • In saving many souls for Christ, he was despised by the Celtic Druids who were pagans... he was captured and imprisoned by them on numerous occasions, but miraculously escaped each time
  • Saint Patrick originated the symbol of the shamrock as he used it to teach the concept of the Trinity: three leaves connected by one stem (and isn't it cool that each leaf is in the shape of a heart?)
  • He died on March 17 AD 461, which is why we celebrate his life on this day
  • Although he is celebrated as a Saint, Patrick and the early Celtic Church of Ireland rejected any foreign control of the church, recognizing only Jesus Christ as head of the Church. Roman Catholicism was not embraced until many years later
• • • • •

From "The Confession," written by Saint Patrick as he neared the end of his life:
"And there the Lord opened the sense of my unbelief that I might at last remember my sins and then turn with all my heart to the Lord my God, who had regard for my low estate, and took pity on my youth and ignorance, and watched over me before I knew Him, and before I was able to distinguish between good and evil, and guarded me, and comforted me as would a father his son. Hence I cannot be silent - and indeed, I ought not to be - about the many blessings and the great grace which the Lord has deigned to bestow upon me in the land of my captivity... for this we can give to God in return after having been chastened by Him, to exalt and praise His wonders before every nation that is anywhere under the heaven."
What a departure from what Saint Patrick's day has become to our generation! It isn't simply a holiday to wear green and pinch each other. It isn't a holiday to go out and drink green beer. It isn't a holiday to spend money on stuffed leprechauns and green carnations. It's an opportunity to be reminded of Saint Patrick's dedication to saving souls to Christ, and to be inspired to do the same in our own communities!

I hope this inspires all of you as much as it did me. Such an amazing new perspective on a holiday I didn't know much about!



I wish I could claim all of these findings as my own. The credit goes to a blog I follow called "Ni Hao Y'all!"


I'm Listening.

Lately I have been praying that God would teach me to hear Him more easily. I know I hear from Him. I can identify what is Him and what's me. I just would love to hear Him more often!

Last night I sat down with Mom and Adam to watch a Spiritual Gifts Seminar on CBN's website. Their speaker for the evening was Pastor Travis Thigpen. He and his wife, Ann, founded
Gateway Ministries in Richmond, Virginia. It should come as no surprise that he was speaking on prophecy and hearing God more readily. God is just that good! I was excited to hear what he had to say and get some insights.

He started speaking about people he knows that have heard from God and saw huge miracles as a result. One woman worked in a hospital and as she was walking down the wing she worked on she came across the room of a 6 year old that was in a fire and was burned so badly he wasn't expected to live. The woman paused at his door and felt God ask her to pray for this child. She didn't go in. She didn't cause a scene. She simply stopped walking, stretched her hand towards the child, and prayed "God, I can't believe that you would want this child to die. I pray you heal them in the the name of Jesus, for your glory." After she opened her eyes she looked into the room and the child sat up in his hospital bed. It only took this woman being obedient to what God asked her to do. She didn't have to know a flowery prayer. She didn't need to yell down the hall and call down the fire of Heaven. She simply needed to hear God, listen to Him, and do what He asked of her.

The story was beautiful, but I felt myself thinking "Sure. That worked for this woman, but I'm fairly certain God couldn't trust me with something as big as healing a child that was near death." Then, like God does, Pastor Thigpen said "I'm sure some of you are thinking, 'there is no way God would trust me with something that big!'"

*Uhm, woah! Okay God, You've got my attention now!*

He went on to say that God speaks to nonbelievers just as He speaks to those that believe in Him. At this point, he said something that really hit home with me. He said, "If God speaks to nonbelievers and they hear him, don't you think He would want to speak to believers even more? Wouldn't he say more to us, as his followers, and say it more often?" The rest of his message was exactly what I needed to hear. God speaks to us. He speaks to us often. He uses many different channels to get through to us...it's just not always audible. HE said that once we begin hearing God and obeying what He asks us to do, He'll speak more often and trust us with more. It's like any other spiritual gift...it must be developed and practiced before we become "good" at it.

I have decided to continue praying I would be open to what He's saying, and trust Him to get it through to me. I know God used Pastor Thigpen's message to speak to me last night. I know that if He's asking me to do something it's because He has equipped me to complete the task. I can't be afraid of what He asks me to do because He knows I can handle it. I'm excited to see what God wants me to do...I know His plans are a lot bigger than what I can come up with. And really...it's not a pretty great feeling knowing that God has that much faith in me!



Friday, March 13, 2009

Separated At Birth...


My "twin" is getting married! My "twin" is getting married and I'm her Maid of Honor!!!

Becky and I share a birthday...2 years apart. Twins, separated at birth, in a BIG way! We look about as different as possible but we're kindred spirits when it comes to personality. Both planners. Both "beavers." Both always up for a good time. Both a little bossy. (What good woman isn't?!) I love her. We keep each other accountable, we keep each other going, we don't take crap off of each other...twins. I'm tellin' ya.



See? The resemblance is uncanny! :)


Becky and Nathan met through a singles group we're all involved in at church. He saw her for the amazing woman she is and went after her. (Smart man!) They started dating in September of 2008 and got engaged February 6, 2009. They are so good for each other. Strong women like Becky and I need men that are just as strong...if not stronger. Nathan doesn't let Becky get away with much, and she likes it. Sidenote to any men reading this: most women WANT you to lead the relationship. We WANT you to put us in our place once in awhile. Try it and see what a happy girlfriend/fiancee/wife you have!

The happy couple!

Since the weekend they got engaged, Becky and Nathan's life has been a whirlwind of wedding plans! Sometimes it's necessary to remind Becky that not everything has to be planned in the first 3 months...but that's easier said than done since I LIVE for planning. Looking back, I wish I would've started GM a little sooner so I could've let you all in on some of our adventures in planning, but I'll make due. Watch for lots of posts in the future about this wedding! God has been gracious to bring Beck and Nathan together...I can't wait to watch them start a new life together!







Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Heading South for the Summer


I've never seen the ocean. I've never had a Passport. I've never gotten to use the 4 years of Spanish I took in high school. I've never been to a third world country. I've never been farther than 725 miles from home. I've never eaten Pupusas. I've never been anywhere you're not allowed to drink the water.

All of that will change between July 26th & August 2nd!

Last night was the first Team Meeting for the Pathways mission trip to Santa Ana, El Salvador! Fifteen of us will travel 9 hours by plane to serve the people of Santa Ana for a week. The stories that were shared by team members that have already made the trip to El Salvador were amazing! I expected to hear the women of the group share stories of their lives changing and finding a new world view, but what I didn't expect was to hear the same from nearly all of the men. I listened as even the "man's man" type of guys spoke of changed hearts, a deepened faith, friendships with the people of Santa Ana, and "just knowing" they had to go back again this summer. In fact, the only negative thing I heard was a 10-person groan at the mention of Pupusas for dinner that entire week!

God has been so gracious to open up doors for me to make this trip! I know He has big things planned for this team and the time we'll spend in Santa Ana. I want to see all of it! I want to help with everything! I want to go everywhere!

At this point, I am even looking forward to days on end of Pupusas!




The Envelope, Please.


I have a financial crush on Dave Ramsey! I'm so in love with him that I recently took the plunge and started up my own version of the "envelope method" of budgeting.

I leave enough money in my checking account to cover any bills that are automatic withdrawal or need to be paid by check. The rest I get out in cash (including my tithe!) and divvy it up. Here's the breakdown:

  1. Fuel
  2. Food
  3. Miscellaneous

That's as far as I've broken it down to start with. I've already decided I want to add an envelope for "entertainment" and another for "Starbucks." (Yes. I spend enough at Starbucks it needs it's own envelope. I'm hoping it'll slow my SB roll a little.) The great part about the EMoB is that it can be tailored to fit your spending. Jason is another Ramsey lover and his EMoB reflects it!

This is my first full paycheck of the EMoB, and I'm loving it! I have really slowed down my spending because it HURTS to fork over a $10 at Chipotle and only get $2 something back in change.

I have a feeling my romance with Dave will do nothing but grow and flourish in the coming months! We've got a bright future....and so does my Savings Account balance!