Fish or Cut Bait

**Official GM Disclaimer: If you are reading this post and you are male, I would like to give you a little heads up. Conversations about dating can get sticky. They can get even stickier when written from a woman's perspective. Please don't feel like I condone the ancient female practice of "Man Bashing" by writing this post. I do not. I love men. Y'all are some delightful creatures...most of the time. I just have to call 'em like I see 'em...and sometimes I see some mistakes in y'alls "game!" :) At any rate, men folk; thanks for reading and by all means, sound off in the comment section...the ladies of GM (or at least this lady) need insight!**

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I was talking with a good friend of mine, we'll call him Manny, recently about the joys of being single. Manny had found himself interested in a really great girl, and they were on the fast track to that annoying place I like to call "Gray Area."

You know...that place where you're not "just friends" anymore because there are feelings involved, but you're certainly not dating each other? That, my friends, is a dangerous neighborhood; at night, during the day, on Sundays, period. It's not somewhere you need to be stopping.

I told Manny that in my experience the most frustrating thing about Gray Area is that sometimes guys allow the relationship to stop there and never leave. It's comfortable, it's welcoming, the houses are nice, the ice cream man comes by regularly, it's like suburbia.

Gray Area.
(Population: 2)

In Gray Area you've got just about everything you need from a relationship, without any of the commitment. You get someone to hang out with. You get someone to laugh at your stupid jokes. You get the relationship without the title (and the making out.) It sounds great in theory, but once you've been there awhile you realize this neighborhood is going downhill quick!

Granted, Gray Area can serve as a nice vacation. It's halfway between Friend Ship and something more. It's a great place to get things together before moving to The Couple Hood.

The Couple Hood.

The problem is, if you stay in Gray Area too long, things get dicey. Gray Area after dark: not a pretty place to be. Once you've been there awhile things get confusing. One person or the other wonders when you're going to get out of this dump and make the move to The Couple Hood. And if you're dragging your feet about making the move then Gray Area starts to resemble Splitsville.

Splitsville.
(Population: a bunch of crackheads and rats exboyfriends.)

I'm sure it goes without saying, but Splitsville...no es bueno. It's lonely. It's dangerous. It's filled with crackheads ex-boyfriends and abandoned cars. No one visits Splitsville voluntarily, and they leave just as quickly as they came!

All neighborhoods considered, I offered Manny some unsolicited much-needed free advice about his predicament. I told him that as a woman, I like to know what's going on. I like to know where I stand. I like to know if my interest in a guy is mutual or if I'm way off base. I told Manny that if it were me in the same situation I would be waiting and mad at him for not making his move yet patiently for him to let me in on what he's feeling.

Then Manny shared with me his philosophy for interacting with the fairer sex. Manny said something that I think I'll embroider on a pillow or have put on t-shirts for girls (and guys!) to hand out on first dates:

"Fish or cut bait."

Now, for those of you that aren't fluent in Midwestern fishing analogies "fish or cut bait" can also be translated to:

"Make a move or move on."

What a concept! Manny believed that you shouldn't make your stay in Gray Area an extended one!? Wait a stinkin' minute...Manny is a guy. Manny is a guy, and he believes in being upfront with his intentions?! Will wonders never cease!?

Naturally I told Manny that I completely agreed with his "fish or cut bait" philosophy and that women around the world would be thanking him for his upfront approach to dating. I encouraged him to not let his visit to Gray Area last too long, lest his lady friend reroute them to Splitsville.

And then, I told him that he had inspired my latest blog topic. (And promised him anonymity.)

Which leads me to a question I'll pose to my dear Poodles and ____________ (*insert witty male version of "Poodles" here*)...

What's your philosophy on Gray Area? Do you like it there? Do you avoid it? Any tips on how to get on the fast track from Gray Area to The Couple Hood? What are your experiences with the joys of dating and relating with the opposite sex?

Let those comments fly!