My Week in Bullets

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Dust off that motivation, along with the keyboard, and get to work on those 5K Friday posts! Tomorrow is our first official week to post, link up, and share some encouraging words! Can't wait to see what y'all have been doing! For more information and instructions, click here!
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I've typed, deleted, and retyped the first sentence of this post 6 times now. There's just no easy way to lead in to a post that I know will be disjointed, wandering, and random. If you don't do random, bullet lists, and week-to-date recaps, then you should probably just skip this one and come back tomorrow for 5K Friday. Otherwise, proceed...but you have been warned!


Still with me? Off we go!

This Week
(in bullets)

• Monday/Monday Late-Afternoon: Another glorious day at the office followed by the last round of vaccinations for El Salvador. (I really do need to post again about my trip. For those of you that haven't been around GM long enough to know what I'm talking about, you can do some catching up here, here, and here.) I met Rachel at Target, carpooled downtown, where we met up with another team member going to El Salvador, Allen. We all three had immunizations left on our list, so we decided to make it a group effort. The last shot I had on my list was the Typhoid vaccine. I've been subjected to a myriad of shots in the past two weeks -- Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, MMR, and Tetanus -- and the Typhoid shot was by far the most painful. Once we were finished being pin cushions protected from creepy jungle viruses vaccinated, we decided it was time for dinner. Since Rachel and I were such troopers Allen offered to treat us to dinner at a downtown restaurant he's been wanting to try. Which brings us to....
• Monday Evening: We follow Allen to his mystery restaurant. We're surrounded by unassuming-looking office buildings, until we come to a white, wooden door. Allen, always the gentleman, opens the door for us and we find ourselves surrounded by this...and this...and this...You've got to be kidding me! Bear in mind that Rachel is sporting a dazzling pair of cut-off jean shorts, complete with frayed hems. She's accented the shorts with a delightful white t-shirt from her high school volleyball days. To set off the ensemble she chose to pair it with black flip-flops. I had personally done only slightly better for myself...wearing dark jeans, a cute summery top from Target, while pulling it all together with black, rubber, Old Navy flip-flops. Certainly nothing worthy of what we discovered Cafe Bel Ami to be. We did our very best to be exceedingly classy, polite, and cultured with our waitress (who looked ready to give us the boot, or make us wash dishes to pay for our meals at any moment) to make up for our fashion faux pas. The food was delicious, the atmosphere was beautiful, the company was fantastic, but I have never been so ready to leave a restaurant in my life! Allen was so good-natured about it...he just made us promise to leave the flip-flops at home the next time he offered dinner. Yeah...you think? Anyone else getting a very "Pretty Woman"-ish vibe off of that entire dining experience? Just call me Vivian! After surviving Monday it's on to...
• Tuesday: Tuesday evening was my date with Rachel, Sarah Jane, and Gavin DeGraw! The girls and I had been anxiously awaiting his concert for a week! Rachel is in love with the man, and while he's not my usual cup o' tea (see The Husband on my sidebar) he can sing, and he does have rather delightful biceps shoulder muscles eyes. We ducked out just after Gavin finished crooning and headed home. We're not as young as we used to be...bed was calling! After a not-nearly-long-enough night of sleep I find myself right in the middle of...
• Wednesday: If I live through work we'll be off to a night of fun and frivolity at the bowling alley. Normally Wednesday night is our small group bible study, but tonight we're taking the show on the road and having a Fun Night. I'm not just being humble when I tell you that I am, quite possibly, the world's worst bowler. My all-time-best score is a whopping 78 points. I'm "that girl" that tries to throw/pitch/lob/whatever the ball and ends up releasing it behind her into the other bowlers seated in the chairs. Should be a great time! (Maybe pray for my bowling partners? Their toes are going to need it!)

*phew*

How's that for exhausting? The rest of the week isn't much better! Tomorrow is my only day with nothing planned...other than laundry. Friday will find me boutique-ing with my girls, and then Saturday it's time for some fun...rodeo-style!

How about y'all? What's been going on this week? Anything fun? Fill me in on what's new!

With love, from the girl that wears flip-flops for an evening of fine dining,

Callused

I remember the first time I watched "The Passion Of The Christ." I was still in my rebellion phase. I was raised in the church and found salvation at an early age...but made the decision after high school to walk away from my faith and the church to make my own way in the world. When Passion came out in 2004 my parents' church bought tickets for the entire congregation to see it together, for free. My parents invited me to come along.

I remember sitting in that theater watching, horrified, as they beat Jesus nearly to death. I remember trying to fight the tears as He made His way down the Via Dolorosa towards Golgotha, where He would be crucified. By the time Jesus fell under the weight of the cross and Mary came to his side I couldn't pretend to be unaffected any longer. I thought of my own brother. I thought of my Mom. I thought of what a huge sacrifice God was making, allowing His Son to suffer such unfathomable pain and torture.

Through the rest of the movie - the painfully long journey to Golgotha, the pain and brutality of the crucifixion, and the amazing hope portrayed in the resurrection - I cried quietly. It was like my eyes were reopened to what Christianity was truly about. It reminded me that we are able to look forward to an eternity in Heaven because of the pain Jesus endured and the prophecies he fulfilled by making that sacrifice.

I walked away from that movie deeply impacted. In my humanness I fell back into old behaviors and continued running from God until He finally caught me late in 2005, but the impact of that movie never left me.

Fast forward from Easter 2004 to Easter 2009, five years later.

We sat down as a Life Group to watch The Passion together last night. I came expecting to be impacted. I came expecting to cry. I did not come expecting to walk away with my eyes opened and my heart softened all over again.

The only way I can think to describe the impact it made on me is to describe a callus. I have heard the story of Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday many, many times. I knew it from beginning to end. It had become so familiar it lost some of it's wonder. It had created a callus on my heart, and that callus wasn't allowing me to feel as much as God had intended me to feel. God used last night and a simple movie to remove that callus from my heart. He took the callus that was once there and left the new, fresh, sensitivity that was hiding underneath.

Today, I am very close to my tears. Songs that were once "overplayed" now hold amazing meaning and messages. For the first time in a long time Christ and His sacrifice are nearly all I can think about. I am looking forward to Good Friday and Easter Sunday like I never have before.

So today, as I sit at my desk and feel tears welling up as a certain song plays I won't try to fight them, and I won't change to a different song. I'll simply say "thank you" and praise Him for restoring my heart and reopening my eyes to the unfathomable love He has for us.




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Listening to: Jeremy Camp - I Am Nothing

Telling Martha Goodbye - Part 2

(Continued from Telling Martha Goodbye - Part 1)

"The more I prayed about what God would have me do, the more I realized He was calling me to make some tough decisions. I needed to pray and allow God to show me what He wanted me involved in, and focus on those things. Easier said than done. I loved everything I was a part of. I was on leadership for two different groups, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my friends every night of the weekend, what on earth would I do away with?!

I kept handing it over to God and He kept telling me to wait on Him. Until recently..."

Last Wednesday, March 18, 2009, I was at Life Group. The lesson talked about obedience and sacrifice, which got me praying...again. I told God I wanted to honor Him with my time and asked Him again to show me what to keep and what to do away with. We finished the lesson, we spent some time chit-chatting, we all went our separate ways. I hadn't made it to the gym that morning, so I was driving to Anytime Fitness in town before I headed home. I thought I would be cute and razz Jason a little about my dedication working out at 9:30pm, so I shot him a quick text message. He replied and I was on my way.

I finished my workout and checked my phone. Jason had sent me another message asking if I would be at Thursday night Life Group the next evening. I told him I wouldn't and he replied:

"Are you ever coming back?"

I was honest and told him I wasn't sure, I was still praying about it. I asked if he had any insight into the situation (he gives great advice!) and he told me he might. Jason asked if I had a second to talk and we spent the next hour on the phone.

I spent 80% of that hour talking through my decision. I told him what I liked about each thing I was a part of. I told him which things I wasn't willing to give up. I told him which things I was on the fence about. He just let me talk. At one point, while pausing to get a breath, I prayed again..."show me what You want me to do with my schedule." And then, that voice that I could pick out anywhere came through loud and clear.

"You already know. I've told you. Trust it."

At that moment everything came into focus. I enjoyed everything that I was involved in, but two areas really spoke to me and fell high on my list of priorities. I loved Pathways and it's ministry, and I was honored to be part of it's leadership. I was excited to get to know the people in my Wednesday Life Group more, and the lessons it's leaders picked out challenged me and made me think. I loved Thursday night Life Group, and being part of it's leadership, but it felt like I had outgrown it. It was a huge blessing to me when I first came to Pathways and allowed me to make some life-long friendships...but I was ready to move on. It had become a time for me to socialize more than a time to focus on God and what He had planned for me.

I told Jason I knew what I needed to do and explained what I thought I was hearing. Him agreeing with what I was feeling was all the confirmation I needed. It would be hard to step down from Thursday nights, I would miss many of the people I met in the group, but I had to be obedient to God's instruction.

I know now that God's answer to my prayers came in the form of a good friend letting me talk things out. Jason listening to my ramblings allowed me to put things in perspective.

"For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."
(Luke 6:45b, NIV)

The things that meant the most to me were the things I spoke of. The things God was really laying on my heart made themselves clear to me because they were the things I couldn't stop telling Jason about. I was to shift my focus fully to Pathways leadership and allow my time at Wednesday night Life Group to recharge me and challenge my faith. It was time to move away from Thursday night Life Group and allow someone else the opportunity to serve that group.

Stepping away from something I looked forward to and enjoyed wasn't easy. It wasn't without a few moments of second-guessing my decision to leave. Some things God puts into my life just for a season...just so they can serve their purpose...and then it's time to let them go.

I am excited to see what God has in store for me going forward. I'm eager to go where He sends me. I plan to use the time I've freed up on Thursday to spend time in His presence...there is no season for my relationship with Him.

I still have quite a ways to go in my quest to leave my inner-Martha in the kitchen, but I know this was a great start.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
(Luke 10:41-42, NIV)

Telling Martha Goodbye - Part 1

It's time for a little Goodbye, Martha history lesson...in two parts!

Almost a year ago I didn't do much of anything. I went to work. I came home. Repeat. I had a serious void in the area of good, Godly friendships. I started praying God would put people in my path that would help me grow in my faith.

Mercy sakes alive, did He ever listen!

Fast forward to May of 2008. God sent me into an amazing bunch of folks in a Thursday night Bible study. From there, it was to an even bigger group on Sunday nights called Pathways...geared towards singles in their 20s & 30s. Since May 2008 I have been blessed and honored to become really involved with Pathways and my Life Group (Bible Study) and their ministries. Come to find out, maybe a little too involved.

My Mom and brother both told me they were worried about me. I was constantly going. I'm talking Wednesday through Sunday nights I was driving 30 miles, one way, to be at some function, event, or party through my church. I had allowed my one-on-one time with God to fall almost completely by the wayside. I was burnt out. I was frazzled. My heart was in the right place, serving God and His kingdom, but I had waaaay too much Martha, and not nearly enough Mary.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42, NIV)

Since I am always an obedient daughter, I immediately trimmed down my schedule. I promised Mom that I had plenty of time for God & me, and kept right on going. It wasn't until I started dreading the events I once looked forward to that I realized...Mom was right.

Yuck.

The more I prayed about what God would have me do, the more I realized He was calling me to make some tough decisions. I needed to pray and allow God to show me what He wanted me involved in, and focus on those things. Easier said than done. I loved everything I was a part of. I was on leadership for two different groups, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my friends every night of the weekend, what on earth would I do away with?!

I kept handing it over to God and He kept telling me to wait on Him. Until recently...

(To be continued...)