Single. And Satisfied!

*In the interest of letting the entire blog-o-sphere this much closer into my personal life, I'm going to wade in a little deeper with today's post. I can't decide why. Maybe it's because I feel like it's a good witness to what God can do once you totally surrender your will to Him. Maybe it's because my server is down at work and I can't do any more invoicing. Regardless, you've been warned.*

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I have been single for 1,044 days. That's 25,056 hours. 1,503,360 minutes. 90,201,600 seconds. I'm talking haven't-held-hands-haven't-been-on-a-date-haven't-been-kissed single...for a little more than 90.2 million seconds.

In layman's terms, I will be single for 3 years come May 30, 2009.

Let me give you some background on what, exactly, brought me to such a drastic decision.

I am, quite possibly, the worst judge of [male] character in the Western Hemisphere. I'm talking bad. I've dated Commitment-phobes, Mama's Boys, Jail Birds (to my credit, I didn't know this until after we broke up,) Two-Timers, and men that just can't make a decision about anything. After the last debacle, I decided enough was enough. I did what I should've done the day I turned 16 and was "allowed" to date. I gave my dating life over to God and I never looked back.

That might sound like a bizarre concept to some readers. It sounded awfully jean-skirts-and-tennis-shoes (aka: creepy, legalistic, cult-ish Christianity) to me, too. All I knew for sure was that I had failed, miserably, at finding men to date and I knew God couldn't do any worse than I was.

I started out where I usually do. Reading. I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." I read "Boy Meets Girl." I read "Lady In Waiting." I read "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships." I read "When God Writes Your Love Story." I spent much of that first year reading, taking notes, praying, and rereading. The time I spent listening to what others had to say about dating as a Christian was invaluable, but I knew that I had to learn to apply that to my life and pray about where God wanted me to fall in the spectrum of Christian dating approaches.

After much prayer I had come to a decision. I would pray that God kept every man out of my path but the right man. I began praying for God to keep other offers for dates away from me since I had never been good at turning someone down. Mercy, was He ever faithful to that request. For the first year and a half I wasn't approached once, by even one man, period. Now, I'm not saying I'm a knock-out by any means, but I will say that in my "heyday" I didn't have any trouble getting men to ask me out. To go from that, to not so much as even a second glance in such a short time was truly a God Thing.

Looking back, I know that God used that time in my life for a very specific purpose. He was the only man in my life. He was the one that held my attention. He had no competition. Because I was focused fully on Him, He was able to teach me so much about how He saw me, how much I was worth to Him, and how He expected me to behave in a dating relationship/marriage. It was such a departure from the way I approached dating in the past.

After the first year and a half men would approach me. Some would blatantly hit on me. Those were easy to turn down. Some were sweeter about it. Some were even friends of mine. Those were harder to know what to do with. I knew that I would no longer go out on a date just to be dating someone. I knew that the next man I accepted a date from would need to be special. He would need to be someone I could see a future with...someone that had the qualities of a man I could see myself married to.

I was no longer settling for a date just to get a free dinner or so I wouldn't be alone on a Friday night. This time, it was serious.

Since I made that commitment to God almost 3 years ago my life has totally changed. My focus has changed. My perspective on dating has changed. For me, it's not something to be taken lightly...it should be approached with prayer, respect, and honor. I have been asked out by some really great men in the past 3 years. Men that made it hard for me to turn the date down. However, that still, small voice is never wrong. If He is telling me no, then the other hes in my life will just have to listen and understand.

I know God will honor my sacrifice and my decision to follow Him above the other hims running around my life. Plus, I'm excited to be able to tell the man I do accept a date from that I've been waiting 90.2 million seconds...just for him.





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Listening to: Matt Wertz - Counting To 100